"Someone who will put up with the things loving me can bring and still be there to see us through. Someone who would put up with the strange and complicated things, ‘cause I would do the same for her, too. Someone I can be real with, ain’t gotta be perfect, ‘cause loving one another is all that matters. It’s not hard to explain, so believe me when I say that I found all of that in you.”
As I sit in my bed, the thought of you comes to mind. But then again, when don’t you enter my thoughts? I think about you all the time—when I’m with you, when you’re away, before I go to bed, right when I wake up.. You’re part of my daily routine. And to be quite honest, I never thought that 10 months ago I would find the person who would annihilate all my insecurities, as well as eradicate the feeling of disappointment. I no longer remember the feeling of being lied to because you’ve never let that happen, knowing that honesty and communication are very important to me. Who would of thought that from the selection, I would find such perfection in an individual such as yourself? You came at a time when I wasn’t even looking.. but you’re everything that I was looking for.
That’s the way I perceive it. Some people like to believe that the reason relationships end is because of the circumstances that arise. And although certain situations can be a factor in a break up, calling off a relationship is solely based on the two individuals involved.
When two people break up, the blame is often put on the what’s, rather than the who’s. “We broke up because there was a lack of communication” “It ended because the distance got in the way” While those are both real and valid reasons to call off a relationship, everything comes down to the individuals involved. For example, if there is a lack of communication, it’s because of the two partners. You can’t put the blame on anything else besides that. Either someone stops trying or standards set by each person aren’t met by the other. And the distance excuse? Distance only gets in the way if you allow it to get in the way. The way I see it, if two people really do care for each other and are willing to overcome any obstacles, then distance doesn’t mean a thing. They continue to work at it because they love each other, and they don’t end it just because they can’t see each other everyday.
What I’m trying to say is, yes, certain circumstances can and may lead to a dissolving partnership, but it’s all up to the two people in the relationship to decide whether or not they want to make it work. They can choose to let these moments alter the course in their relationship, so therefore it is not the circumstances that choose the breakup—it’s the person. Too often the blame gets put on distance or lack of communication, or believing that high school relationships don’t work, or any other condition, that we sometimes forget it is the person making the decision, and not the circumstance.
That’s just how I see it. If two people want to be together, they will make it work no matter what.
To be honest, sometimes I overreact when I don’t come out as successful as I planned to be. However, I feel that the mishaps that life throws at us are chances to improve and grow from. There’s the saying “learn from your mistakes," and maybe at times we take that for granted because it’s deemed as cliche. Sometimes our failures turn into the best victories because we learn from them.
Part of the reason why I strive for my independence is because I hate relying on people. I really do. I hate having to rely on people for money or for rides or whatever because it just seems like whenever I ask certain people to take me somewhere or to give me a certain amount of cash for something important, it feels like a burden to them to go out of their way to do something for me.
There are people in my life whom I’ve drifted away from. No doubt about it. It’s really something when someone who you used to be really close to is now someone you don’t really talk to. That, or when you do talk to them, it’s not as comfortable as it was before.
I think the most terrible thing about drifting away from people is those specific instances where you don’t know why you and that person are no longer as close as you used to be. One day you two will be challenging each other to see who can eat the most chips, and then before you know it, you and that individual just stop talking. There is no effort from either side and no one knows what happened. And when you do try to communicate with each other again, it’s just awkward. Then you start to question, “What the hell happened to our friendship?”
I’m not even kidding, that’s where most of my stress comes from. Homework, projects, tests, activities, clubs.. Everything gets thrown on me left and right, and it tires me out. I don’t remember the last time my face was clear of eye bags. I feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything I need to do. I’m physically drained, and trying to maintain my 3.8 GPA is stressing me out.
Picked up Isaac and headed to school; got there before 7:30 so we chilled with Ivy, Cheryll, Gabriel, Miguel, and Sean for a bit. Took pictures!
Went inside the gym. The decorations were pretty nice! Since no one was really there, we just sat down at the bleachers with our guy friends.
We were one of the first ones to take our formal pictures, heeeey!
More pictures with our friends after we met up with them.
Fast forward to after Paula came.. we finally went dancing! Everyone was so cramped up though, there were so many people! It started to get hot within the first 20 minutes.
Not gonna lie, the DJ was pretty good. Robell and Jodece kept blowing their whistles haha.
Ms. MC was handing out mints, HAHAHA
Played the first slow song, and all the people who didn’t have dates were like, “WHAT THIS IS WHACK” haha
Danced some more.
Took ONE break, and that was at the last 30 minutes of the dance. Isaac and I sat in the bleachers with some other people because we got tired haha. So we took pictures and he would sing along to the songs the DJ was playing. It was cute haha. Then he decided it would be fun to blindfold me so that I wouldn’t know when he was gonna kiss me.. -__- Not fun. Hahaha. Cute though! Paula and Brandon came off of the dancefloor and sat next to us, too.
Dropped Isaac home after the dance.
Overall, Sadies was dope! Way better than homecoming, that’s for sure.
You keep me on my toes with all the little things you do for me. There are times where I want to beat you up because of how stubborn you are, but I’ve realized that you only do that to challenge me and test my patience.. and because you get a kick out of it. Your occasional small surprises evoke tons of happiness out of my little self, and the way you put forth your best effort to treat me like a princess is something I’m really grateful for. You honestly don’t have to do much to make me happy, because just looking at you and knowing you’re mine keeps me more enthusiastic than ever. Some people have a best friend, a lover, and an other half, but I’m one of the fortunate ones who have found all three of those in you.
And I found a whole bunch of edits from when I had a Jonas Brothers fansite on MySpace hahaha. I even logged on to the fansite and found everything I’d done on there.. man, good times, good times. I used to be obsessed with HTML and editing graphics on Photofiltre though..
There’s this elderly man who comes to my school often with a plastic bag in his hands. He walks around campus, going through the various trash cans scattered throughout the school, in hopes to find bottles or cans that he can recycle for money. The man is Asian, and I would say he’s probably in his late 60s. He’s pretty short as well. His clothes are always too big for him and really dirty, and he continuously wears the same beanie every time he visits. I noticed that he has a walking disability, where his right leg sort of spazzes out with each step he takes, making him somewhat crippled. The kids at my school just stare at him as he makes his rounds, and the old man avoids eye contact, as if he’s afraid of what they might think of him.
I was watching him dig through a trash can, unable to find any recyclables. The look on his face showed disappointment, and he moved on to the next receptacle. As he set his quarter-full plastic bag on the ground, I slowly made my way up to him. He was digging through the trash as I pulled out my wallet to hand him a $5 bill. He looked at me and had the biggest smile on his face. No words came out of his mouth; there was a sincere silence that floated through the air as he placed his hands together and bowed his head toward me as a sign of gratitude.
My heart always aches for those who seem to get by on collecting recyclables, especially if they’re elderly and don’t look like they can really take care of themselves. I figured that he needed the money more than I did, and the smile he had on his face when he received it made my whole day.
It’s crazy to look back on events that have occurred in my life and think, Dang, I remember that or Dude, that was a hella long time ago. I never really believed anyone when they first told me that high school goes by quickly and to therefore enjoy it. But now that I’m in the second semester of my junior year, I’m finding it to be more true now than it ever was. Honestly, I love high school. Despite all the stupid things I let myself go through and all the unnecessary drama that unraveled, I know that all the experiences I have gone through have made me who I am today. It’s cliche, but high school really shows you who you are, what you’re capable of, and who will be by your side through thick and thin.
Another reason why I’ve enjoyed my high school career so far is because of the activities my school holds for the student body. From night assemblies to sports games, to lunchtime activities and talent shows—my school has a lot to offer and I wish more students took the opportunity to attend these events because we were so close to having them stripped away from us. Honestly, it really bothers me when there are those kids who are like, “Nah this is stupid” or have that I’m-too-cool-to-participate attitude. I wish they could see how much our ASB and leadership class work their butts off to hold these events.
Anyways, back to my main point.. Just thinking about everything that has happened in the last three years is so indescribable. Because here I am, thinking about what classes to take next year and what to do with my life after being a senior.
To all you underclassmen, I know you hear it all the time, but just enjoy high school. Don’t try to grow up too fast and always work hard at everything you do. Forget the drama because honestly, no one is going to care about the stupid arguments how many years from now. Take every opportunity that’s in front of you and never give up on yourself. Never be afraid to try something new, because you never know: it could become something you develop a passion for. And most importantly, don’t forget to be true to yourself because no matter what other people think of you, all that matters is that you’re happy with who you are.